A Mother's Love & Relationship Advice
"I love you, the whole you, the light, the dark, the good the bad, even the parts of you that you wish no one saw and that few have ever seen. Even the parts of you that you think no one in the world knows about."
In any personal relationship, one must speak honestly, but with tact, and concern for the other’s feelings. There are lines and boundaries you do not cross. Words cannot be taken back. We must choose to see the best in one another, as we all have levels of light and darkness.
Life is not black and white. No one is all good or all bad, all light or all dark. Yin & Yang, balance in all things.
We can choose at any time to allow the light to outweigh our darkness. Those are the people I focus on having in my life now. That is the person I focus on being. I now know that is where happiness comes from… being and living in alignment with the light. Choosing on a daily basis to allow the goodness, light and love to shine brighter. Choosing not to cause more harm to others, while safeguarding oneself in the process.
I have seen the light side of you, and it is wonderful. The side of you that is fun, caring, compassionate, honest and trustworthy. That is the side of you that I am so proud of! That is the part of you that makes my heart light up with joy to think of. That is the side of you I hope you nourish and grow and shine brightly in the world.
I have seen the dark side of you as well, as will anyone who truly gets to know you. This is the part of ourselves we must come to terms with, forgive. That is the part of you that I do not like; cold, heartless, lacking compassion, closed off.
You have seen my light side. The side of me that is fun, loving, compassionate, caring, trustworthy. The side of me that the ones who are close to me focus on, see and love, and the rest of the world sees and loves.
You have seen my dark side. The side of me that is cold, distant, closed off. You have never seen the darkest side of me… the side that is deeply angry, resentful, and vengeful… that is the smallest part of me reserved for those who hurt the ones I love, a part of me that is so dark, most would not believe it to be possible, even though I believe it is within us all.
We choose what the outside world sees of us, but in real, true relationships, we see the whole person, their light, their darkness, even the stuff so bad we wish no one ever saw. The people who truly love us, and who we truly show love for, see the whole person, and love them anyhow, choosing to focus on the good, the light, the love.
I love you, the whole you, the light, the dark, the good the bad, even the parts of you that you wish no one saw and that few have ever seen. Even the parts of you that you think no one in the world knows about. I watched you grow into who you are for 18 years, no one sees the whole you more than I do. I love you unconditionally.
As your Mother, and the life long friend you do not realize that you have, all I want is for you to find happiness and inner peace in this life. I want to save you from all the pain and heartache of the world. I want to make your life easy, and free of suffering.
As a person I have lived life long enough and learned enough to know that I cannot protect you. It is your life, your choices, your experiences, your consequences.
As your Mother, this is heartbreaking to come to terms with, to watch, and want so desperately to help, but as with so many things in life, it is out of our control. What is in my control, is how I respond...
I will be here for you anytime you need me, but I will not be a doormat or punching bag. I will not allow you to say or do things to hurt me. I will not bail you out of consequences of poor choices, but I will try to help you when life is so unjust and unfair.
I will always be here to listen to your heart and your problems. I will listen without judgement, and I will offer my guidance if it is welcome. I will be here when you think no one in the world truly cares or loves you.
I am not perfect, as you well know, but I will be here, as I have always been, I will admit my mistakes, and apologize. I will love you no matter what.
No one in the world can say that and mean it from the heart the way I do. Please always remember that you have so much more than you realize.